feeling sorry for myself today

[ohtobehealthy]

hey guys..

So I was thinking of selling my wedding dress for some extra cash, its a dress that was never worn. Here is why: Basically my husband proposed to me after knowing me only 8 months and he was in the military and my dad and stepmom decided they didn't agree with us getting married because "we didnt know eachother" I have always had issues with my dad, he was an abusive alcoholic when my mom was married to him, so they got divorced when I was like 2. Then he remarried when I was 8 and all of a sudden he was a changed man decided to become a dad to her girls and be a wonderful husband buy a house etc... you get the idea here I think. Basically we have never been close but I brought my then fiance to meet him and they were all kinds of excited about our wedding that following summer. (We had to plan a wedding kind of quickly due to the military)  So they were all a very fake pleasant to him and they right then and there at dinner decided to help with half of the wedding financially. My step mom overed to look at dresses with me the following weekend.
So a few days later I call over there to see when my stepmom could meet me at the bridal store. That phone call did not go well. He told me they did not "agree" with the engagement basically and wondering if I was doing the right thing and said in a nutshell they didnt feel comfortable helping out financially with the wedding. So I ended that call bawling. I call my mother who got all kinds of pissed and calls him back and yells at him and he denied anything he ever did to us in the past. Which pissed me off so.. to make a long story short my mom who makes pretty much the same amount of money as me got together with her boyfriends mother and her to get this dress for me.

[ohtobehealthy]

CONTINUED....

So what ended up happening basically is because the army changed dates on us so many times that he would be PCSing from Germany here to Fort Lewis we just ended up having a court house wedding in seattle. I just wore a lil white sundress and we went to a restaraunt afterward with his family. I had NO family there, no friends. My dad was not there, nor my mom. My best friend couldn't even make it because our boss made her work. So what should have been a happy day was bitter sweet.

So I didnt get to wear my beautiful dress... so today I brought it out and looked at it for the first time in years. I even tried it on.. well I am definately not a size 4 anymore so I could not zip it all the way up but.. just seeing it on. Made the depression come back.... Just so sad I never got to share my day with all the ones I love and the fact my dad and that side of my family we were pretty much at war. We are ok now.. but.. one day at a time.  I am working on our relationship. Trying not to relive the past so much...


I dont know. Maybe I am sentimental because my husband is gone again and I miss him so much but I will say we have been married for over 4 years and together for 5. So.. who knows if my dad and step mom saw that coming or not.

Thanks for listening to me vent and feel sorry for myself.

[Samantha]

Kristin all you have to think about is "What a Wonderful Husband Your Have" and all the happy times together and upcoming.
I cannot understand family sometimes (I'm very lucky in that department) so can't comprehend how this really affects a person.

You're allowed to have some rough depressed days, BUT please make time to walk in the park, visit a rainfall, do something to cheer yourself up. Life will improve, it seems unreachable now but IT WILL HAPPEN

 
Sammy

[Jenny]

Kirstin, I'm sorry that your family weren't there at your wedding..I'm sure they would've loved to be there.

Maybe you should have a small gathering and have your vows renewed! You could invite your family as well as some of your hubby's family. At least you could wear your dress at least once and take photos in it!

Sam's right! Think of how LUCKY you are to have such a wonderful husband! 

Feel better soon!

[Keilia]

Kristin -