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 June 15, 2009, 12:59:32 PM
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Full Member
Gender: 
Posts: 125
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I know all of us here are suffering from depression to some extent or another..just wanted to rant about how depression is taking a toll on me.
I'm not officially diagnosed with depression by a doctor, but I felt suicidal on and off for about a year now, and I still do.
Sorry, I don't want to be a downer or anything, but I feel I really need to let everything out..
Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I ask god "why the hell did you bring me back?"
I feel like nobody really gives a s*** about my problems and that I'm going to have to live this way for the rest of my life. sometimes think dying would be so much better then going on living undiagnosed..
I hate myself because I'm always stuck in the past..always trying to remember what I did wrong the days, weeks, months, before I started getting symptoms.
I find myself imagining different ways I could end my life (it's hard for me to admit this to anyone..)
Though I know I could never muster up enough courage and stupidity to go along with it.
I'm only 19.. I shouldn't be like this. If I was 50 or 60 years old, I wouldn't care so much that this is happening to me. I feel robbed of a normal life and even worse, I feel hopeless. My future is one big question mark.
The last thing I want from others is pity...I just want understanding so that I know I'm not the only one going through this..?? Does anyone know what I'm talking about? lol..
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June 22, 2009, 02:26:35 PM
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Newbie
Posts: 7
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I know all of us here are suffering from depression to some extent or another..just wanted to rant about how depression is taking a toll on me.
I'm not officially diagnosed with depression by a doctor, but I felt suicidal on and off for about a year now, and I still do.
Sorry, I don't want to be a downer or anything, but I feel I really need to let everything out..
Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I ask god "why the hell did you bring me back?"
I feel like nobody really gives a s*** about my problems and that I'm going to have to live this way for the rest of my life. sometimes think dying would be so much better then going on living undiagnosed..
I hate myself because I'm always stuck in the past..always trying to remember what I did wrong the days, weeks, months, before I started getting symptoms.
I find myself imagining different ways I could end my life (it's hard for me to admit this to anyone..)
Though I know I could never muster up enough courage and stupidity to go along with it.
I'm only 19.. I shouldn't be like this. If I was 50 or 60 years old, I wouldn't care so much that this is happening to me. I feel robbed of a normal life and even worse, I feel hopeless. My future is one big question mark.
The last thing I want from others is pity...I just want understanding so that I know I'm not the only one going through this..?? Does anyone know what I'm talking about? lol..
This is exactly how I feel, like nobody cares to REALLY listen to me and help me. I to have been having suicidal thoughts.
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June 22, 2009, 09:06:29 PM
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Group: Administrator
VIP Member
Gender:
Posts: 920
I Will Be Diagnosed !
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Although we are all similar to some extent (undiagnosed  ) we all have different lives hence the trouble I have understanding 100% what each person goes through. Although I try I know I don't have the complete history for each and everyone of you. This may sound hard to do but.............We are all in an awful situation and yes it's so so unfair BUTTo help yourself to some extent, think about the lives of other people less fortunete then ourselves (I know this will be hard to do) Children with dreadful disease who will live in hospital until it's time to go Cancer patients Homeless, hungry, the abused, etc Thinking about someone else less fortunute then yourself for a while and you may realise your lifes not so bad Start writing down the good things in your life no matter how minor they seem You have a roof over your head You have food in your belly You have a very good friend/support partner or family You have enough money to buy yourself that nice treat You have clothes on your back You have pets to talk to (yes they do feel and understand what you go through  )chat to them more and get it all off your chest I know this doesn't fix your own depression but the first step to overcoming the really tough times starts within yourself, even if on a scale of one-ten doing any of the above raises that level to 2, it's making a very wee difference and you can build on it from there. Only YOU can get yourself out of this, and with a strong will and faith that things will improve you can help yourself a little everyday, allow the odd really bad day, but if you feel it's getting on top of you remember that list I really have no idea what you are both going through but I hope I can help in some small way Sammy 
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