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 June 15, 2008, 09:52:04 AM
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Sr. Member
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Posts: 339
When all else fails, play dead!
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When I was 7, I kept falling off monkeybars at school. My mum was too busy with her 1yr old son and being pregnant to really notice much.
At the age of 10, I was being relentlessly teased by the other kids for 'walking funny' so my mother gave me crutches for a birthday present and moved me to a private school.
Long story short, I was given a walking frame for 18 months and put on enough vitamin e daily, it'd kill a herd of elephants (7000IU daily). I was told I had ataxia, which is a symptom, not a diagnosis!
At 14, my mum gave me another tacky present, a manual wheelchair. My ability to walk was on a steady decline, and because I was a teen, I just didn't care, until my mum started sending me to school with it.
The school bought an electric chair for me when I was 15. By that time, I noticed I was getting tired rather quickly.
I dropped out of school at 17 1/2 because the school had started making ridiculous rules (I MUST travel between classes at the lowest speed setting, but then I'd be told off for being late to class, so I routinely travelled at half maximum and got yelled at and given detention for speeding.)
At 19 I got pregnant, and my mum took me to a day clinic to have an abortion. She signed the forms and told the doctors I can't handwrite, and when I said I don't want it done she told them my neurologist had drugged me. Dad came to pick us up to take us home. When he asked why I was crying, mum said I'd had a painful test. I was crying so hard I couldn't speak.
I was married the day before I turned 22. Little did I know he was using me to get a permanent visa. I was constantly abused and so were my pet rats.
I got pregnant again, and mum told everyone in the family that I couldn't carry to term, so I kept being told to abort.
Can I continue later? I'm crying.
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June 19, 2008, 08:28:48 PM
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Group: Administrator
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Posts: 919
I Will Be Diagnosed !
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Welcome to the Forum New28 :)
When you hear other people's stories of suffering, it makes you think your own suffering is nothing.
I really don't know how to respond to your story, not because I don't care, because I just cannot imagine how you must feel.
I often mention my family support through my journal of undiagnosed illness, I cannot comprehend how you cope, if I didn't have my family then I don't know what I would do.
I'm happy you found my forum, it's a good idea to get this off you chest. I just wish I could do something for you.
I hope you continue to share and express your feelings here, when your up to it, perhaps finish your story ?. If there is anyone out there reading New's story that can offer advice, support, or perhaps somewhere she can go for support.
Anytime you need someone to talk , just send me a email New, I see your from Australia too.
Take care, and be strong
xxxx
Samantha
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June 22, 2008, 10:58:18 AM
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Sr. Member
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Posts: 339
When all else fails, play dead!
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My husband decided to go back to Sri Lanka to see his mum (his dad died 6 months earlier and he blamed me because he said one of his friends told his dad I'm in a wheelchair.) and he told me and 'dumped' me at my mum's house when I was 8 months pregnant.
He continued stealing my pension money from our joint account. My mum discovered this and took me to the bank to get the account back into my name only, I spent $150 in that one day.
I went to the hospital the day before I went into labour. I was told if I hadn't gone into labour by that Thursday, they'd perform a ceasarian. I went into labour at 2am...I was watching a Star Trek marathon at the time! My mum kept saying I was faking it, but she took me to the hospital at 11am for an ultrasound anyway. The nurse who did the ultrasound didn't say a word to my mum or my sister (who'd driven us), she almost yelled for a bed and a birthing room.
I forget most of what happened, but I remember the nurse breaking my water, and the doctor took my baby away instantly, mumbling something to my mum, and when my daughter cried she was handed to my sister, who gave her to me.
I remember being kept in hospital for 6 days. Mum almost fooled me into letting her adopt my daughter, hey, I was out of it and not feeling good, but I wasn't that bad!
Mum said she'd look after both of us, she persuaded the hospital to release us. Mum paid an Occupational Therapist to say I was incapable of looking after the child until she's at least 4 years old.
My husband came back into the country 1 month after Miranda's birth, by then I'd already started divorce proceedings. I asked my mother to watch whenever he was near her, I'd found out that he'd abused my youngest sister.
He moved to Adelaide with his girlfriend before our divorce was finalised and changed his name.
Now, I'm living in a 2 bedroom unit, with 2 dogs (one's a 10month old tripod and the other's an 8week old BCx) 6 cats (Angel, Kink, Prints, Oscar, Freak and Puzzle) and 45 pet rats...Think I'm trying to make up for my missing daughter yet? I'm very happy without a man in my life.
My mum's trying to get me to change my daughter's name and hand over all my rights to her. It makes sense, I'm not the one who raised her, and without her family payments (which I hand over to my mum anyhow) I'll get the full pension (no more 'other income' and my rent will go down because I'm not renting for two.
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June 23, 2008, 07:27:55 AM
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Group: Administrator
VIP Member
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Posts: 919
I Will Be Diagnosed !
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You sure do have lots of animals. If I had the room I would have too ! Can I ask New, do you have any close friends and family that support you. I don't know what I'd do without my family, and often wonder how you cope... I'm so happy you found this site, venting your frustration will be a big release (atleast it works for me) most days anyway Take Care Sending big hugs :) My husband decided to go back to Sri Lanka to see his mum (his dad died 6 months earlier and he blamed me because he said one of his friends told his dad I'm in a wheelchair.) and he told me and 'dumped' me at my mum's house when I was 8 months pregnant.
He continued stealing my pension money from our joint account. My mum discovered this and took me to the bank to get the account back into my name only, I spent $150 in that one day.
I went to the hospital the day before I went into labour. I was told if I hadn't gone into labour by that Thursday, they'd perform a ceasarian. I went into labour at 2am...I was watching a Star Trek marathon at the time! My mum kept saying I was faking it, but she took me to the hospital at 11am for an ultrasound anyway. The nurse who did the ultrasound didn't say a word to my mum or my sister (who'd driven us), she almost yelled for a bed and a birthing room.
I forget most of what happened, but I remember the nurse breaking my water, and the doctor took my baby away instantly, mumbling something to my mum, and when my daughter cried she was handed to my sister, who gave her to me.
I remember being kept in hospital for 6 days. Mum almost fooled me into letting her adopt my daughter, hey, I was out of it and not feeling good, but I wasn't that bad!
Mum said she'd look after both of us, she persuaded the hospital to release us. Mum paid an Occupational Therapist to say I was incapable of looking after the child until she's at least 4 years old.
My husband came back into the country 1 month after Miranda's birth, by then I'd already started divorce proceedings. I asked my mother to watch whenever he was near her, I'd found out that he'd abused my youngest sister.
He moved to Adelaide with his girlfriend before our divorce was finalised and changed his name.
Now, I'm living in a 2 bedroom unit, with 2 dogs (one's a 10month old tripod and the other's an 8week old BCx) 6 cats (Angel, Kink, Prints, Oscar, Freak and Puzzle) and 45 pet rats...Think I'm trying to make up for my missing daughter yet? I'm very happy without a man in my life.
My mum's trying to get me to change my daughter's name and hand over all my rights to her. It makes sense, I'm not the one who raised her, and without her family payments (which I hand over to my mum anyhow) I'll get the full pension (no more 'other income' and my rent will go down because I'm not renting for two.
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 kohlfrog |
July 16, 2008, 02:20:38 AM
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Group: Guest
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It's funny, I read this and I feel so bad for constantly feeling like my situation is bad. In comparison mine seems so simple, so unimportant. Do the doctors have any idea at all as to why this happened to you?
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July 18, 2008, 02:05:00 AM
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Sr. Member
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Posts: 339
When all else fails, play dead!
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All the doctors I've seen tell me it's not acquired, and it's not genetically passed on to me. I come back 'normal' in every test they've tried, but they don't know where to even start looking.
Please don't try to tell me I can't manage physically, that's why I have pets, they give me the courage to keep going. Sure, since having my baby I've resembled the blob, but that's what happens with vitamin e deficiency, skin loses it's elasticity. In all truth, I should've become a serious diabetic 20years ago, but I'm not because my body actually NEEDS all the sugar.
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July 20, 2008, 05:20:24 AM
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Full Member
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Posts: 151
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Please don't try to tell me I can't manage physically You didn't think I was telling you that, did you?
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"You're better than normal! You're ABnormal!"-- Fry to Leela, who's self-conscious about her single eye, Futurama
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July 20, 2008, 08:16:13 AM
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Sr. Member
Gender:
Posts: 339
When all else fails, play dead!
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I guess I'm so used to people telling me I can't manage, and to get help...
I tried to get a live in carer. She brought 20 rats, 5 mice and a kitten. She required me to make breakfast for her, she did NO housework whatsoever, she didn't even feed her pets or buy food for them. She moved out 3 weeks later, when I started insisting she pay half all bills. She took 4 rats. I rehomed the kitten and the mice before she emailed me saying if I wanted any money for anything, I had to sign a contract saying that if any of her pets was rehomed she was to get all the money she paid me. By that stage, they'd have been classified as abandoned anyhow, so I refused. I haven't heard from her since.
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July 20, 2008, 09:58:14 AM
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Full Member
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Posts: 151
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There must be some sort of caregiver scam going that I don't understand, or it must attract some very wrong people sometimes, for some reason. A cousin of a friend lived until recently with a house of demanding and disrespectful people, one of whom got herself designated as her caregiver. They all treated her badly, and her relatives who tried to help her leave were called Satan worshippers by them, I think, and they didn't want her associating with her own family. They all treated her car as their own without her permission. They fought any attempt of hers to leave because they'd lose the car.
Sounds like a Jerry Springer show, doesn't it?
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"You're better than normal! You're ABnormal!"-- Fry to Leela, who's self-conscious about her single eye, Futurama
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July 21, 2008, 10:50:44 AM
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Sr. Member
Gender:
Posts: 339
When all else fails, play dead!
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NEW CHAPTER: My mum's blackmailing me into handing her custody of my daughter, and I've had it. My daughter was taken off me when she was 6 days old, Mum told the physiotherapist that I couldn't look after her. I've hardly seen her in the last 4 years, and now that my mum wants to send her to hell (the primary school where I was picked on mercilessly) and I want her to be homschooled, mum wants custody so she can send my baby there. She says she'll report me to centerlink for fraud otherwise,
I've decided I'm not going to put up with this crap anymore. I'll give her custody of Miranda, but once I do it, I won't speak to her ever again, I'll have no reason to.
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