I've been having a lot of new things coming up in the last month. I figured I'd toss out the list and see what you all think. I am trying to get an appointment with a neurologist set up to evaluate these things
Hypersensitivity - The way clothing fits. I can't stand tight things, or anything near my throat at all. My favourite pair of jeans which fits like a glove is now maddening to me. I have not gained or lost weight, but I can't stand how they feel against me. Fabrics are also a challange, I can not stand anything scratchy or rough, like a wool sweater.
Muscle Weakness - My legs in particular, they will just seem to go weak on me, like I am going to collapse. I do not have the strength in my arms to carry things. I used to be very strong and did a lot of weight lifting. There are days I have a ard time pouring a glass of milk because the gallon container takes both hands to hold, and still I shake and make a mess sometimes.
Muscle Spasms/Jerking - Also my legs are worst. They will tremble and shake, and there are times it's somewhat like a charlie horse. This is always followed by the weakness and I'll have to sit down.
Fatigue/Exhaustion - Even simple things take all the energy I have. I work a desk job, phone calls and emails, but by the end of the day I am dead.
Non-Restive Sleep - I can lay down and sleep for 8 hours and wake up just as tired as when I went to sleep. I could sleep all day and night and still be tired.
Unwilling to engage in social situations - Even when I feel well enough to go out, I am afraid to. What if I get there and have problems? What if I fall? What if my pain kicks really hard and I can't do anything but cry because it hurts so much?
Daily life altered - I can't go to the store like I used to. I can only carry one or two bags now, and shopping exhausts me. If I need more than a couple of items, I have to get someone to go with me, because the cart can become too heavy for me to push, and after bringing in my one or two bags, one trip from the car to the apartment (and I even have an elevator!) I can't go back out for more trips. I don't go to the bar or the cinema or to other people's houses because I can't trust my body.
I broke down today and ordered a cane to help with walking, since I am having more days where walking is difficult. I have always been a person who made everything from scratch, but now I have things like hamburger helper and instant mashed potatoes in my kitchen cupboard because I don't have the energy to make things anymore. My pain never goes away, so I am now taking 2 10/325mg Vicodins every few hours, so 6 or 8 of them a day just to get by.
I try very hard not to let most people see what is happening to me, I don't want them to know how bad
BAD can be. I have always been fiercely independent, and I have always been more than happy to help anyone else with whatever they needed, but I find that I have a very hard time asking others to help me. I know it is my pride talking, and I need to learn to swallow it but... damn it! They say pride goeth before a fall, well... I am learning that the hard way. I hate feeling like this. I am not even 30, how can I be so broken?!?
Thanks for listening to me vent guys. Any imput, as always, is greatly appreciated.